Final Blog Entry

Final Blog Entry

A lot of people think meditation is this relaxation thing, almost like a trance, but in actuality it is this incredible awareness. To be present from moment to moment is to brush (gently) away all the thoughts and emotions that normally are racing through the brain, so that for however long one is meditating they are just constantly aware of only the present moment in time. This is a mental and a physical process. At least, in my head I always seem to separate my body and my mind as two different things. Certainly, they correlate to each other directly, however, in their core they function on different levels. The mind must be clear of thoughts and focused on moment-to-moment perception, while the body has to be in a physically aware state as well to be able to allow the mind to perceive things from moment to moment.

I feel like anyone that uses the right side of their brain on a regular basis, such as an artist or designer, already has a special aptitude for the ability to stay aware and present. For example, an illustrator probably gets pretty close to that state on a daily basis, even if they didn’t realize that they were. When somebody draws, there is this tendency to get into this similar state of just being physically aware of what you’re doing, where the pencil is going, how the paper feels against your hand and how various materials feel underneath the pencil. They already have the ability to get halfway there. However, they wouldn’t know how to go the rest of the half way there mentally, without practicing being aware from moment to moment. I am sure a lot of artists and designers may separate themselves in two when they are working on art. Their bodies would be fully attuned to what they are doing, but they might disassociate themselves mentally and use the time their body is busy working to think about things. Therefore, if they could just focus mentally on being mindful present moment, to present moment, they would be able to be successful.

I’m not sure I full understand the question about a contemplative aesthetic. A contemplative aesthetic could mean a certain look or feel, certain constant emotions or contemplative beauty. I think that no matter what the answer to that is, that it would vary from person to person and there wouldn’t be just one contemplative aesthetic. Each person is so different in how they think and how they achieve certain mental processes that it would be inherent that not every single person on the earth would have the same idea about a contemplative measure. There are certainly contemplative techniques that are the same, but I think the aesthetics, being such a beautiful, artful thing to begin with, would always have to be individualized. Each person would have their own preferences to music, colors, sounds or textures that would allow them to be contemplative.

I do believe there is a relationship between contemplative practice and creativity. Certainly, they help each other, and certainly practicing one would better the other, but there is a difference between the two. Contemplative practice involves a sort of training of the mind to be aware from moment to moment, where as creativity isn’t always so trained, it is more like a spark that suddenly has come and gone. This is why I think practicing both would make both practices stronger. If someone spends a lot of time with contemplative practices, they would have more connected neuron pathways for creativity to travel down. Also, it might be easier for them to brainstorm for creative solutions, because they would already be trained to gently push conflicting thoughts aside while they were trying to work. Also, if people practice being creative, they too have a lot of different pathways that are connected and they inherently must brainstorm to be creative, and so they might already have some of the skills necessary to be aware from moment to moment. The relationship between the two is fairly similar in the give-take ratio. As one grows, so does the other. Also, if one did not practice either for a while, both would suffer. The biggest difference is that contemplative practice requires a constant practice, where as creativity tends to be more spontaneous.

Contemplative practice certainly influences interactions between persons and among communities. It is such a widely world spread idea that it may influence people in one country to discuss their experiences with people from another country. People who practice contemplatively have the propensity to always want to know more about practicing and how to become better at it. Also there are so many different cultural ways to attain the same goal, that practitioners would be curious as to how it is handled from place to place. It is also such a gratifying experience that people would want to share their experiences and ideas with other people. It is one of those things that people would instantly create bonds with someone else who practiced, because of how affecting the experience itself is. Also, contemplative practices affect people and may allow them to handle situations better or to function more easily on a day-to-day basis with other people. This in itself would affect interactions between people and communities. People who do contemplative practices may handle situations of interaction better than people who do not. Their mind is in a different place and they are obviously more aware than people who do not practice at all.

I think my experience with tarot reading before I started doing my daily practice for this course certainly helped me to learn more about being aware from moment to moment. There is supposed to be the same meditative sense when one reads tarot cards. Most pagan activities like tarot reading or spellcasting involves being in a centered, focused and mental state. It is interesting because I have read a lot of books in the past about that sort of thing, and it is practically the same things we discussed in the contemplative arts class except perhaps worded a little different. At the core, however, there was the same idea of being present from moment to moment. I think paganism just uses a lot more specific visual cues in order to get people to that state of mind, where as the things we discussed in our contemplative arts class focuses more on physical sensations and direction to get people into a meditative state of mind.

Also, as I mentioned at the beginning of this blog entry, because of the various art oriented practices that I do daily, there was already this understanding of how to get my body to a state where it was aware from moment to moment, and from brainstorming for creative solutions there was the ability to clear my head of thoughts. In class, I feel like we learned how to integrate these two skills.

Overall, I really enjoyed this class and what it had to teach me. I feel like it opened me up to all these different subjects I never thought about before and now that I am aware of them I want to know more. Also, I really enjoyed the sittings and the yoga practices that we learned in class and look forward to continuing those (in particular the body scan). I think for artists and designers, that it is especially important to be able to learn how to be mindful, and to practice it because it helps tremendously for the arts and for people who need to be creative. It also is just a very healthy thing to practice in general.

Daily Practice Final Project

In the end, I created a physical response and representation to the sensations and the processes I go through during my daily practice. Everything in the built project has a symbolism behind it. I wanted the glass base structure to represent my thoughts and the ability to clear them in order to focus and center myself. There are four cards (the ones I drew most often) that I chose to represent the four directions I normally concentrate on when I am trying to center myself. Obviously this is the balancing part, because it is very difficult to focus, especially when there is ComDesign on the horizon. The color around each card is the color of light I normally picture in a circle around me when I practice tarot reading. Also, amusingly enough during the final crit, the one card I had pulled the most often of all was the heaviest for some unknown reason, even though it had the same number of paper clips and everything. The four cards were: 3 of Shields, 2 of Spears, 11 Justice and 6 the Lovers.

Final Daily Practice

I find it incredibly interesting that the last card I drew for my daily practice happened to be "13 Death." This is actually a good card, though many people obviously think it is a bad card because it must mean someone is going to die (untrue). The card itself represents the end of something and the beginning of something else. Therefore I am incredibly amused that I pulled it for the last card of this daily practice. It is the end of the class, but hopefully I will go on in my life to learn new things about these subjects.

Also, on a side note, I am always surprised at my 'artist abilities' to judge space. I had the huge stack of my index cards to lay out so that I could take a picture of them all together, to show their quantity at the end, and I just started placing them down, with no forethought of how many there were. When I got to the last one I realized that I had laid down the specific amount needed to create even rows. Very odd.

Anyways, here they are!

I'm not sure if it was because I was concentrating so much on the project for this week, but it flew by and then when I was organizing my index cards to write this blog I realized I had only done three readings since last Wednesday! That's pitiful! Oh, finals week...

It seems at least now though that I have gotten into an easy flow about doing the daily practice. I haven't had difficulty concentrating on them in a while, not even with finals and projects looming over my head. I enjoy taking the time to sit down and do them. Also I feel like I know the cards themselves more and I am finding that my three words pretty accurately match up with actual meaning of the card. I had the easiest time with the first two readings this week, probably because they were after ComDesign. The one I did tonight was still easy to concentrate through, but I didn't spend as much time on it as I did the first two from this week.

Daily Practice

My daily practice has been going strong since last Tuesday. I have been able to do it every day since then, even while I was home for break. I found it a lot easier to do in my own room when I was at home. I think that scent had a lot to do with it. Obviously I am the most comfortable at home, but also the familiar smell of the wood furniture in my room mixed with the smell of incense that I've used in the past, reminds me of tarot reading in general. Over last summer I did a reading every night before I went to bed, it is the inspiration behind my daily practice for this semester. Though while I was home this time I did most of my readings during the morning hours, because these hours were the less hectic, and it was the most quiet time in my house (which is important because I have a younger sister and a dog who can both be very noisy, haha). Now that I am back in Syracuse, however, I want to start doing the readings again at night.

Beginning Pics for Project

These are two ideas for part of the cards that I have in mind.

Nowhere from Here

Although I enjoyed reading Jacquelyn Baas's article about art, I am at lost for an example of art that I have enjoyed in this way, or a piece of "relational aesthetic art." The part of her article that I enjoyed the most is the idea of an artist's life being full of art, instead of just when they choose to sit down and create it. I think this is important because as someone who enjoys studying art, I can't help but just enjoy certain moments in my day that I find beautiful, or scenes I see before me. It's a good thing that Duchamp changed the idea of art from just the product into including the process, because it would be a bit absurd to think that art is only just finished, typical pieces. I searched for quite sometime online to try to find a piece that interested me, but I often found myself becoming confused within articles full of art and intellectual jargon instead of finding actual projects. I'm sure that I would enjoy pieces like this in real life, in person, but reading about them only muddles my thought process. In fact, not to sound belligerent, but sometimes when reading about these artistic practices and theories I get a bit angered and frustrated, because I think a lot of artists, even if they really mean all the things they say, sound ridiculously pretentious. This could be frustration coming from not understanding what they are getting at, but you know that there are people out there that talk just to make themselves sound important. Anyways- I apologize, that was sort of a mini-rant. That's what I get for googling half an hour. Any piece of art or design that a viewer enjoys should have a certain aspect of relational aestheticism to it. There has to be something to draw the viewer in and keep them there. In ComDesign when we talk about creating design, our professors often say "seduce the eyes, and challenge the mind," or something along those lines.

Daily Practice

So this week was all about getting back in gear after I was sick for a week. I was eager to do my daily practice every day. In fact, today I did two readings, because I wanted to 'get back into the game.' Especially after we had been talking about our projects in class.

I felt that Friday and Saturday I was right on target. Friday's reading went really smoothly. Although I have to say that this week I have done all of my readings (except for the one I did tonight) during the morning hours. This week I felt that that was when my mind was the clearest, especially since I have still been going to bed really early because I've been wanting to sleep as much as possible to get rid of this cold. It feels really good to be centered, as well as productive, first thing in the morning after I wake up. It would be nice to find some sort of other meditation to do in the mornings if I don't continue this practice after the class.

Sunday I didn't find there to be any troubles really. It was easy to focus, even at night when the room below me was blasting their music, though admittedly, the early morning one was easier to focus during.

Daily Practice

What is the experience of your Daily Practice in your mind/body?

Normally, when I feel that my daily practice is most successful, the experience that I feel is one of centeredness. When I actually can concentrate without getting too side tracked down the thought stream, there is a feeling that what I am doing is right. There is a certain amount of focus and this feeling of intuition. There is a quietness of the mind.

How do you reach the mind/body state of your DP?

Each time I do my reading for my daily practice, I have a mental step process that I go through. This process is tied to the art of tarot reading. It involves calling on/concentrating on the four directions and elements. This would be earth (north), east (air), south (fire) and west (water). Each time I concentrate on making a circle around myself by calling on the four points, and I mentally think about the four points three times each before I start my reading. This is where I mentally focus.

Where do you practice - what is your environment?

I either do the readings on my bed, or on the couch in my apartment.

How do you bring yourself back to the present?

At the end, I have to release the circle. I mentally concentrate going in reverse over the four directions.

When you engage one sense, what are your other sense doing or not doing?

Normally I close my eyes when I concentrate on casting the circle. I actually try to concentrate on focusing, instead of paying attention to my sense of hearing or sight. However, the tarot cards have a certain scent to them that reminds me of incense and that generally helps me concentrate. Also, the shuffling of the cards is very important to the reading.

What formal/physical qualities (texture, color, light, rhythm, pitch, etc...) do you assoociate with the experience of your DP?

Light. The colour purple. Energy. A slightly warm feeling.

Seeing as a Child / Curiosity

For this week I tried to "see/hear with the eyes of a child" in order to gain curiosity in a conversation. In general I really liked this weeks reading because I often think about these sort of things when I'm having a conversation with people. The thing I had the hardest with about curiosity is not that I wasn't curious about people when I was listening to them, but rather that I feel sometimes just saying "ask me more" sounds insincere, and people don't feel as open to sharing. This week I tried to use different things but found myself using mostly "really?" as my continuing question.


In one particular conversation I had with someone I really tried to follow the guidelines from the reading. I found myself getting curious of how the person was choosing the way they phrased things. Also it was someone I wasn't all that familiar with, so I found myself wondering about their past and how they have ended up the way they are today. I found it easy to ask them about why they did certain things, or about things I didn't know about them already. But when it came to the parts in the conversation where they were talking about things that solely relied on the present, it was a lot harder to figure out how to stay immediately curious and focused and to ask them how to go on. Often times in conversations people aren't just telling you their feelings, instead, it's about normal day-to-day things and that's when I get the most stuck in a conversation.

Daily Practice

This week I started getting back into doing the daily practice more easily, at least, to do them easily everyday. However, then halloween came around and I didn't do them for a few days. There are four readings, however. I think that this week's class helped get me back into it after midterms. This is because it was interesting to try to do the practice with other people.

Anyways. At the beginning of the week, October 25th, the reading was a little rushed because I wanted to go to bed, but I didn't have a problem concentrating. I think I Just pushed it too quickly. October 26th, I spent more time on my reading. I really made sure that I was focused and that I cast the circle slowly. I always feel like the reading goes more smoothly when I get into a focused state of mind. Sometimes when my mind feels jumbled, it's almost like you can tell that reading isn't as 'true' or 'pure' as it normally would be. The reading on Friday (the 27th) went well too. I had a lot of time to do it and my mind wasn't stressed out at all.

My most recent reading, the one today, was difficult. I'm very tired from driving back from my friend's school which is three and a half hours away. Also I was trying to catch up on a lot of different things and my computer was close by, which is always distracting. It took me a lot more time than it normally does to do a reading.

In Class Mirroring

Today in class these were the instructions.

1. Person A shuffles the deck while thinking "What is going to happen to me in the near future?" Then they cut the deck in half, placing the bottom half above the top half and flipping over the first card (right to left, not up to down)and hand it to person
2. Person B takes the card and draws/writes down a few words of how the card makes them feel/think of, aka they interpret the card.
3. Person B tells Person A what is going to happen to them in the near future according to how they interpret the card.
4. Switch roles.

Daily Practice Mirror Activity

So originally I thought it would be cool to have two people doing a reading at the same time with the tarot cards. However, upon thinking about this, I thought it would be unfair and inaccurate, because I only have one deck with me at school and so neither of the two people would have the option of both cards. Then, I thought that the whole system of reading tarot for someone has a lot of mirroring and synchronization within it. The reader has to have a certain amount of synergy with the person they're reading for. So I taught my roommate about what I did every night and then told her how to perform the task.

First Person A shuffles the deck and thinks about one question. They pick out one card and hand it to Person B. Person B takes an index card and writes down the name of the card, three words that they think the card portrays, and draws a picture of how the card makes them feel/ what the card reminds them of. Then person B tells Person A what the answer to their question was, like a traditional tarot card reading. Then Person B turns the index card over and writes down the actual meaning of the card. Then the two switch roles. The rapport comes in when one person tells the other what is the answer to their question, or what is coming in their future. The person has to get a feeling of the other person in order to do the reading successfully.

This would be hard to do in class wiht only one deck though, so I think I will have to figure out another way.

Daily Pratice

Ahhh, I am definitely not satisfied with my daily practice this week. I only did it three times, because I was burnt out from my ComDesign midterm. It just didn't come to mind, mostly because sleep was the only thing on my mind. The three practices that I did do, however, I found rather 'successful'-- I know we talked about how you can't really do a 'bad' daily practice. But I feel like the three times I performed my daily practices went really well.

On Tuesday I pulled "20 Judgement" which was funny since my ComDesign midterm was coming up. I found it easy to focus at the time because I did it late at night. This is also apparent because my drawing for it is more detailed than some of my quicker ones. Likewise, the other two cards I did were also more detailed than normal. For the page of cups reading I had a lot of time to devote to concentration, so not only did I find it more peaceful than usual. The five of cups reading was a bit more difficult to stay focus about during the beginning purely because my roommate happened to be making a lot of noise. Once I got started though, it appeared to become easier as I went on.

Intuition and Spontaneity

The way this week's prompt was phrased, as well as the readings, reminded me of how I am around people. I'm not sure if it's particular enough for this exercise, but I'll continue anyways. So, whenever I am around people, whether they are someone I know well, an acquaintance, or someone brand new, my perception is habitually placed on how they are responding to me, what they are thinking about me, etc. And of course I don't mean this in the totally self-centered outrageously confident sort of way (like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast), but rather the awkward, maybe a little self-centered, but all too self-aware, shy person sort of way (can't think of a witty example for that one).

I get so nervous around people, wondering how they're perception of me is changing as we talk, that my habitual response is actually to become more nervous and awkwardly self-aware. It would be nice to break this habitual way of responding and opening up to new spontaneous possibilities, instead of being so carefully planned out. I often laugh whenever I am reading things that tell me I should be "more aware of myself, my reactions and my emotions" because I think what would help me more is if I weren't so aware.

Also I really enjoyed reading about intuitive nature because it's always interesting to experience. Like the "Blink" article stated, we act on our intuition constantly, but we hardly ever notice. I wish there was a way to harness it more, but perhaps that comes with 'being more aware of myself,' haha. Just the other day I had the undeniable urge to go check the mail, like couldn't ignore it, had to submit to it, and I went out of my way to go check the mailbox and sure enough the letter that I had been seriously looking forward to receiving was in the mail, but I had no idea when it would arrive.

Daily Practice

The beginning of the week went well. The two readings, the Ace of Swords and the 6 of Spears at the beginning of the week were pretty standard. My mind wandered a little, but not too badly. I think too, now that I look at all the cards together, you can tell by how much time I spend on the drawing, and how neat my hand writing is. Interestingly enough, the 6 of Shields, the next day's reading, not only has poor penmanship and a quick drawing, but unlike *all* the rest, I didn't even underline the title. I remember having difficulty doing that reading because it was Wednesday and I had a lot of appointments to go to that I normally didn't have to do and I did it earlier in the day instead of waiting to do it at night. Not only could I not focus, but I did it much too quickly.

The last three days were better, because by the time my ComDesign class is over with for the week, I am much more relaxed and find it easier to focus. The 5 of Shields was done on Friday, and is sloppier because I did it at night after I had been out with my friends and I wanted to go to bed. Because I was still wound up from being out, I found it harder to focus. Plus, I was too tired, and it was harder to pull myself back to the present because my body was just giving up. The 6 of Shields and the 4 of Spears readings went smoothly. I did the first one in the morning, right after I had woken up so that my mind was clear and not stressed out yet. The second I did at night after I had been doing work. It was a quick reading, but I was focused.

Zen & Archery

I think part of the 'bow cutting through him' means that he has let the practice influence or affect him. The article shows that his practice of archery wasn't just some activity he did. Instead, he learned about the practice, his mind and his spirit. By allowing the bow to cut through him, it means that he has allowed himself to fully submerge his entity in the practice. He tried to understand it all but only seemed to get more confused, but this in itself means that he was learning something.

I think that because my daily practice involves drawing one card randomly everyday, that there is already a certain amount of this "it doing me" instead of "me doing the daily practice" thing going on. There is a certain amount of trust that I embed into the cards every time I use them. There is a specific practice, too, like he had to go through, that I have to do before I can draw the card. Most of the time I feel like I am just interpreting what the cards are doing on their own.

Daily Practice

The first one I did for this week went really well. It was pretty standard-- aka I did it right before I went to bed tonight (Friday), so I was rather relaxed. Today went really well, and I think that because I felt happy and hopeful for most of the day that it helped me concentrate when it came time to go through the daily practice process. Hopefully, I can do it with a smile on my face more often. The card I pulled happened to be '6: the Lovers' which also is funny because I never usually pull that card for anything (c'est la via, yeah?).

[Saturday]

Instead of waiting till night time, I did my daily practice in the morning. I had been working really hard on homework and being really productive, so I just felt that I was in the right mindset to do the reading. My mind wasn't quite as focused as it had been the night before, however, because I still had the urge to plan the rest of my day. I did find it fairly easy to push the thoughts lightly aside, though. It definitely wasn't a struggle. I pulled the '2 of Spears' which didn't really help my confidence of all the work I had to do because it means "dread of future challenge, pessimism and heavy burdens." Hopefully if that's true I can work through it. Even though I felt ready to do the reading today at this time, maybe next time I should wait to do it at night. I tend not to try to plan as much at the end of the day because I am usually so exhausted.

[Sunday]

I'm not in a particularly good mood right now, but at the same time because of the emotional state I am in, I found it easier to do the reading. It was easy to go through the visualization process of casting a circle, because the sort of emotional overload I had before I did the reading emptied me a lot mentally, and I found it easy to go through and push my other thoughts lightly aside. Maybe it's because I didn't to think about anything at the moment, so finding a mental distraction was welcome. I pulled '11: Justice.' I'm not sure exactly how this will fit into my life. Hopefully it will mean that all of my hard work will be worth it by the end of this week. I'll have to keep it in mind.
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More to come for this week / next week combo since we're starting the new 'submit on Sunday' thing. I find the daily practice really easy to keep up with Friday - Wednesday, but Thursday (and sometimes Friday) is really hard because I have one ComDesign class that lasts from 2pm until 11pm so by the time I get home I am too exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally to do anything. Also Thursday morning I can't do it because I am working to finish my Comdesign stuff. But I do enjoy doing it, so I will be able to keep up with it for the rest of the week.

Daily Practice

Week Ending Oct. 7th:
So the new point of my daily practice is that the actual process is the thing that stays the same, so the card I draw is the variable. I thought since there were so many cards in a deck it would be a neat idea if I drew one card every day and then on an index card, drew something in correlation to it, and to write down three words that I think the card might mean. Then, on the back (or the lined) part of the card, I would write down the actual meaning. It’s sort of like a bizarre, emotive version of flash cards.

So today is the first day I am trying these new methods. I went home this weekend, so to me it felt a lot more comfortable to read the cards, since I was in my normal environment. Also, I did a lot today, so I’m more exhausted than I normally am. When I set up my process I found it really easy to visualize everything I was suppose to. I only wandered away on the thought stream once or twice, but the feeling of cards in my hand usually brings me back pretty quickly. The card I drew was the three of shields reversed. Actually, because it was reversed (aka upside down), it brought a lot of really symbolic things to me right away because since the image was upside down I didn’t really see it as the picture it was, but instead blobs of shapes, colors and light. It was like in that article we read about drawing upside down.
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The second time I did my daily practice, I was back at school. At the same time, I was still sort of mellow from having been home, so I didn’t find the visualization as easy as the first time I had tried, but I could still stick with it. I wasn’t distracted much, though I was awfully tired so that might have something to do with it. I went through the whole thing and then was surprised because the card I pulled was the same card! It was the three of shields again, only this time it was right side up, so I drew a different picture, wrote down new estimates of its meanings.
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The third time I’ve tried this reading, I found it really hard to stay with the visualization. Since I went home this weekend I have a lot of work to catch up on, so my mind and body are full of stress. Needless to say it wasn’t easy to stay focused. The process felt like it took me a lot longer because of all of the mental setbacks. I drew the card again just like always, and I had a feeling about it before I flipped the card over, and sure enough, it was the three of shields again (this time reversed like the first time). Here I had been thinking it would be easy to get different cards each time I tried to do a daily practice! I drew a new interpretation and wrote down three words again.
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Instead of doing the reading at night, like I normally do, I drew the card in the morning instead. I didn’t have quite so much on my mind yet that day, so I didn’t find it very difficult to visualize things the way I was supposed to be doing. And I knew when I flipped the card over it wasn’t going to be the three of shields anymore. Oh- by the way, the question I ask for the single card is “what is something that is in the near future for me?” I was, however, surprised to see that I drew the three of spears, reversed, and that it’s meaning was incredibly similar to the three of shields, when it is reversed.

I’m also including a picture I took of what some of the cards look like.

Frame by Frame Consciousness

Action chosen: Tea prep
As I was preparing my tea, it was pretty much all thought stream instead of ‘being in the moment.’ I think because it’s such a mundane action, and because I do it so often (four times or more a day!) that it’s something my body knows how to do, without my mind being present.
Although at the same time my thoughts reflected what my senses were intercepting. For example, as I was sifting out the tea into the teapot, the smell reminded me of London. It made me miss it. Then thinking about London made me think about how my friend Samantha is visiting there this weekend since she is away in Florence for the semester. This reminded me of other memories of her from the last time both of us were in Syracuse for a semester. Similarly, memories played another important part because when I spooned out the brown sugar, it made me think of being home and reminded me of my mom. All the while I was making the tea, though, I felt stress because on some secondary level I was thinking about how much work I have ahead of me.
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I feel like it was a lot easier to just watch the action without any other senses besides sight and sound. By easier I mean that my mind didn’t wander as much. Also, with the way I framed the movie, the tea cup is right in the center, so it’s very focal, I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it. Instead, I was really keyed in on what was going on. Instead of thinking about memories or things I had to do, as the frame by frame went on, I would notice what sounds played. I would think about how I reacted to them. Like wow, that was really loud—especially since it’s going frame by frame. Also my mind would watch the way the light reflected off of the cup. I didn’t really get caught going off on a long tangent thought stream.
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After doing it the third time it was sort of a weird combination of the two. After watching frame by frame, I paid a lot more attention to my actual movements. It felt more like a process because I don’t normally pay attention to all the steps. I just do them. At the same time, I think I paid more attention to my sense of smell and hearing after watching the frame by frame. My mind didn’t wander as far the final time though.

Reading & New Ideas

Past: 9 of Cups
The dawn of dreams, satisfaction. Peace. Happiness.
8 of Swords (R): Present
Pressure and conflict.
Future: 2 of Swords (R)
Vulnerability.

This sounds like it could be fairly accurate. I can honestly say that right now the day before my CMD stuff is due I am feeling a LOT of pressure and conflict. Also there are certain things in my life in the future that may cause for vunerability. But I would like to think it's not always a bad thing.

Also I've been experimenting this whole week of different ways of doing these readings to create a sort of mental state and I think what would be best for my mental practice would be to draw a random card each night and then dedicate a page in a sketchbook to what it represents to me at the moment whether it be through drawings or words. I really enjoy symbolism and metaphors and I think that it could be really great. I've tried it a few days now and really enjoy it, but I would need to get a sketchbook specifically for it to make sure I don't lose anything.

I tried reading French too each night but that didn't relax me so much, because I had to work so hard. It was hard to do it everyday as well.

Daily

For the reading today I asked what would come of tomorrow. It says that in the morning I would be reclusive and wouldn't accept the ideas of others. In the midday I would base myself on material worth and monetary fulfillment and that at night, someone would reject my ideas.

I think this has the possibility to be fairly accurate because I will be working on ComDesign ideas all morning, then go to campus in the midday for class, then I have office hours with Bill who will probably reject my ideas. Haha.

Also I really enjoy reading cards at night right before I go to bed. My mind is already halfway zoned out, so it's really easy to just relax and do it, where as during the day when I've tried, my mind is buzzing full of ideas.

Reading

Ace of Sheilds (R), Two of Cups, 10 of Cups (R)

Past: basing one's self worth on material goods
Present: A romantic relationship. Love. Harmony.
Future: Restrictions. Pettiness.

Even though these all have the power to be truthful, I feel like I don't know how they connect. I enjoy the pattern of the symmetry, however, with the left and right card being reversed, where as the center, the most compelling card by far (because who doesn't like to focus on love?) is upright in the center.

Ways to Begin

Alright, so I'm really terrible at doing the blogging daily, or as I do the practices. Promise that will get better starting right now. Anyways-- This week I did the promots supplied in "Ways to Begin." It actually coincided nicely with my new exercise routine. It's hard not to pay attention to your body when you're running or doing something that is very active and strenuous.

As I've been exercising this week, particularly running, I have kept this class in mind. Normally when I run, I tend to make a "to do" list in my head for the day, week, etc. However, this week when I was running, I deflected those thoughts and tried to keep "in the now." It definitely wasn't easy. I am a planner by nature, and the last thing I want to do while I'm running is really pay attention to the stitch in my side. At the same time, however, every time I started planning in my head I tried to notice physical things around me, and things that related to my senses. For example, I could smell the pond at Barry Park, could smell the difference between the freshly cut grass on the path, and the taller, long grass. I also tried to feel out different muscle groups, or pay attention to the different sound of running on the grass versus running on the dirt path.

I also noticed how captivated I am by smell and temperature in the morning when I wake up. It has something to do with that dream-like state we all sort of wake up in. It's as if my brain isn't fully working yet (or my left brain isn't?) and I'm in a very abstract place, and the scent of fresh air coming through the window or the heat or cold of the room can instantaneously send me back into vivid early-morning dreams, depending on what memories they remind me of.

I can also say after this morning's class that working with metals is a very sensory experience as well. You have to be attuned to what is going on at that exact moment of the present while you are working on a piece because A) you don't want to mess up your project and B) you don't want to hurt yourself (especially if you're using a blow torch). Also in metalsmithing there are a lot of very strong smells and textures with the materials you are working with. Copper, brass, chemicals, fire, the smell of burning wood, the feeling of your muscles as you saw shapes out of the metal, etc.

As for my daily practice of the future I've been mulling over a few things. Tarot reading, or reading French. Both would require me writing some documentation. I am going to keep trying out both and see which one is more plausible.

Body Scan Try #2

So, I just tried the body scan for the second time. I feel like this time, even with my legs flat (instead of up to prevent myself from sleeping), I felt much more awake. I felt like I was much closer to "falling awake." And yet, at the same time I feel like I was paying less attention to what he was saying this time than the last time. I always start out really strong at the beginning of the exercise, but the middle not so much. This time, I felt like I was also really strong at the end of the exercise too, though. Hopefully next time I will stay with it the whole time. It's interesting, though, because the first time I tried this exercise I felt I often would ruminate on thoughts instead of his voice, and yet this time I feel like I didn't drift into thought much, instead it was just this sort of mental blankness or emptiness.

Body Scan Jon Kabat-Zinn

I just listened to track two of the body scan. I'm really glad that I listened to Anne's advice about keeping my legs sort of upright so that if I started to fall asleep they would drop and wake me up. That certainly happened about twice. At the very beginning though I thought I was really in tune and paying attention. It seemed like my thought pattern was going exactly along with what he was saying, and that if I did drift into the "thought stream" that he would say something right afterwards like "don't worry if you end up drifting into a thought." Also when I concentrate that hard on something like that I usually tend to get this very nice sort of tingling sensation in my head. It's hard to explain, but that definitely kicked in while I was starting to relax. It was nice to be so aware of the physical and the now. I thought I would be really tired afterward, so I scheduled 15 minutes where I could nap, and I tried, but for some reason instead of napping, all I could do was just think constantly. I think that's a good thing. I think I'll put that to better use next time.

Very fun.

About the "Art of Creativity"

Sensitivies:
- seeing good in mistakes
-being receptive to new ideas
-intuition

Attitudes:
- opening mindedness
- child-like naivety
- confidence

Methodologies:
- daydreaming
- challenging yourself constantly

Mental Skills:
- being receptive; listen openly and well
- mental flexibility
- humor

Intentions:
- pushing self into new routine constantly
- playfulness

Exercises:
- sleep on it
- brainstorming with others
- letting self go physically
- letting self go mentally
- change something about your routine
- see something common in a new way
- reaching the ‘in between’ state (theta waves)


For theses few days in between Saturday and Wednesday, I chose to do the “change something in your routine daily.” It’s sort of funny because this whole week I’ve really had a problem with being creative for an assignment that is due, so when I read the article, I felt like “yes, this is exactly what I need.” I just wish that I had longer to practice so that I could reap bigger rewards from it.

Sunday:
I was feeling really frustrated and restless because I had been trying to think of a few creative ideas for my ComDesign project for hours, working with type and brainstorming (or failing at brainstorming) in my sketchbook. I felt totally stuck. Normally when I get to this point I end up taking a fifteen minute nap, as that sometimes helps get my mind back in gear. Instead I chose to go on a spontaneous jog. It definitely fell under the category of letting go physically, and it gave me a break mentally. By the time that I was halfway through with my run I could feel that my mind had switched gears from trying to work out that problem, to just existing in the moment. It felt good to have a break and just concentrate on how my body was working and feeling. It was feeling very really, as opposed to brainstorming, which feels like you don’t even need a body because everything is in your head. When I went back and cooled down, it was a lot easier to get more work done, although I didn’t have an “eureka” moments.

Monday:
Monday night when I was making dinner, I was thinking about the article and how they talked about changing recipes as a sort of exercise. I’m a poor college student, so I don’t have that many ingredients or ways to change up my cooking, so instead I decided that while I was making dinner I was going to try to use my left hand as my primary hand, and switch things up that way. I definitely couldn’t just go through the motions of cooking like I normally do. I had to really concentrate, especially for when I had to drain the pasta using my left hand, because if I didn’t pay close attention, I definitely would have burnt myself. It was similar to the run in the fact that I had to switch mental gears and concentrate on something that was happening “in the now.” It also physically felt different from my normal routine. I hardly ever try to use my left hand for anything.

Tuesday:
The day was wearing on, on Tuesday and I realized I hadn’t done anything out of my routine yet that day. Since it was getting around to 9:30 and I was in that horrible “I have to come up with some outstandingly creative idea before Thursday, but I’m terribly stuck and have no way to just magically come up with an award winning idea,” frustrated mental place, I decided that maybe something I could do out of my normal routine was to actually unwind before I go to bed. Normally I stay up till at least midnight or so just doing homework and trying to work out creative problems. I never really let myself slowly come down from that to go to bed, instead I normally just stop what I’m doing and trudge to bed to pass out. I took Tuesday night to let myself get away from that mental place. I let myself play a round of Left 4 Dead, a video game, and let my mind get away from those creative problems. It worked because I had to concentrate on what was going on, on the screen, plus there was a little human reaction coming from my fellow players. It definitely helps to socialize after you’ve been stuck inside your head all day. After I finished that, I felt much more relaxed, but not quite tired yet, so I let myself have another luxury I haven’t done in what seems like forever, which is I read a few chapters of the book I started reading during the summer. By the time I was ready to go to bed, I was very relaxed, and I actually found I fell asleep a lot easier, because I wasn’t trying to consciously still work out all those creative problems.

I’m not quite sure by what you wanted for “visual documentation” of this, especially since it was supposed to be mildly spontaneous, but may I can add to this post later?

Assignment Number Uno