Reading & New Ideas

Past: 9 of Cups
The dawn of dreams, satisfaction. Peace. Happiness.
8 of Swords (R): Present
Pressure and conflict.
Future: 2 of Swords (R)
Vulnerability.

This sounds like it could be fairly accurate. I can honestly say that right now the day before my CMD stuff is due I am feeling a LOT of pressure and conflict. Also there are certain things in my life in the future that may cause for vunerability. But I would like to think it's not always a bad thing.

Also I've been experimenting this whole week of different ways of doing these readings to create a sort of mental state and I think what would be best for my mental practice would be to draw a random card each night and then dedicate a page in a sketchbook to what it represents to me at the moment whether it be through drawings or words. I really enjoy symbolism and metaphors and I think that it could be really great. I've tried it a few days now and really enjoy it, but I would need to get a sketchbook specifically for it to make sure I don't lose anything.

I tried reading French too each night but that didn't relax me so much, because I had to work so hard. It was hard to do it everyday as well.

Daily

For the reading today I asked what would come of tomorrow. It says that in the morning I would be reclusive and wouldn't accept the ideas of others. In the midday I would base myself on material worth and monetary fulfillment and that at night, someone would reject my ideas.

I think this has the possibility to be fairly accurate because I will be working on ComDesign ideas all morning, then go to campus in the midday for class, then I have office hours with Bill who will probably reject my ideas. Haha.

Also I really enjoy reading cards at night right before I go to bed. My mind is already halfway zoned out, so it's really easy to just relax and do it, where as during the day when I've tried, my mind is buzzing full of ideas.

Reading

Ace of Sheilds (R), Two of Cups, 10 of Cups (R)

Past: basing one's self worth on material goods
Present: A romantic relationship. Love. Harmony.
Future: Restrictions. Pettiness.

Even though these all have the power to be truthful, I feel like I don't know how they connect. I enjoy the pattern of the symmetry, however, with the left and right card being reversed, where as the center, the most compelling card by far (because who doesn't like to focus on love?) is upright in the center.

Ways to Begin

Alright, so I'm really terrible at doing the blogging daily, or as I do the practices. Promise that will get better starting right now. Anyways-- This week I did the promots supplied in "Ways to Begin." It actually coincided nicely with my new exercise routine. It's hard not to pay attention to your body when you're running or doing something that is very active and strenuous.

As I've been exercising this week, particularly running, I have kept this class in mind. Normally when I run, I tend to make a "to do" list in my head for the day, week, etc. However, this week when I was running, I deflected those thoughts and tried to keep "in the now." It definitely wasn't easy. I am a planner by nature, and the last thing I want to do while I'm running is really pay attention to the stitch in my side. At the same time, however, every time I started planning in my head I tried to notice physical things around me, and things that related to my senses. For example, I could smell the pond at Barry Park, could smell the difference between the freshly cut grass on the path, and the taller, long grass. I also tried to feel out different muscle groups, or pay attention to the different sound of running on the grass versus running on the dirt path.

I also noticed how captivated I am by smell and temperature in the morning when I wake up. It has something to do with that dream-like state we all sort of wake up in. It's as if my brain isn't fully working yet (or my left brain isn't?) and I'm in a very abstract place, and the scent of fresh air coming through the window or the heat or cold of the room can instantaneously send me back into vivid early-morning dreams, depending on what memories they remind me of.

I can also say after this morning's class that working with metals is a very sensory experience as well. You have to be attuned to what is going on at that exact moment of the present while you are working on a piece because A) you don't want to mess up your project and B) you don't want to hurt yourself (especially if you're using a blow torch). Also in metalsmithing there are a lot of very strong smells and textures with the materials you are working with. Copper, brass, chemicals, fire, the smell of burning wood, the feeling of your muscles as you saw shapes out of the metal, etc.

As for my daily practice of the future I've been mulling over a few things. Tarot reading, or reading French. Both would require me writing some documentation. I am going to keep trying out both and see which one is more plausible.

Body Scan Try #2

So, I just tried the body scan for the second time. I feel like this time, even with my legs flat (instead of up to prevent myself from sleeping), I felt much more awake. I felt like I was much closer to "falling awake." And yet, at the same time I feel like I was paying less attention to what he was saying this time than the last time. I always start out really strong at the beginning of the exercise, but the middle not so much. This time, I felt like I was also really strong at the end of the exercise too, though. Hopefully next time I will stay with it the whole time. It's interesting, though, because the first time I tried this exercise I felt I often would ruminate on thoughts instead of his voice, and yet this time I feel like I didn't drift into thought much, instead it was just this sort of mental blankness or emptiness.

Body Scan Jon Kabat-Zinn

I just listened to track two of the body scan. I'm really glad that I listened to Anne's advice about keeping my legs sort of upright so that if I started to fall asleep they would drop and wake me up. That certainly happened about twice. At the very beginning though I thought I was really in tune and paying attention. It seemed like my thought pattern was going exactly along with what he was saying, and that if I did drift into the "thought stream" that he would say something right afterwards like "don't worry if you end up drifting into a thought." Also when I concentrate that hard on something like that I usually tend to get this very nice sort of tingling sensation in my head. It's hard to explain, but that definitely kicked in while I was starting to relax. It was nice to be so aware of the physical and the now. I thought I would be really tired afterward, so I scheduled 15 minutes where I could nap, and I tried, but for some reason instead of napping, all I could do was just think constantly. I think that's a good thing. I think I'll put that to better use next time.

Very fun.

About the "Art of Creativity"

Sensitivies:
- seeing good in mistakes
-being receptive to new ideas
-intuition

Attitudes:
- opening mindedness
- child-like naivety
- confidence

Methodologies:
- daydreaming
- challenging yourself constantly

Mental Skills:
- being receptive; listen openly and well
- mental flexibility
- humor

Intentions:
- pushing self into new routine constantly
- playfulness

Exercises:
- sleep on it
- brainstorming with others
- letting self go physically
- letting self go mentally
- change something about your routine
- see something common in a new way
- reaching the ‘in between’ state (theta waves)


For theses few days in between Saturday and Wednesday, I chose to do the “change something in your routine daily.” It’s sort of funny because this whole week I’ve really had a problem with being creative for an assignment that is due, so when I read the article, I felt like “yes, this is exactly what I need.” I just wish that I had longer to practice so that I could reap bigger rewards from it.

Sunday:
I was feeling really frustrated and restless because I had been trying to think of a few creative ideas for my ComDesign project for hours, working with type and brainstorming (or failing at brainstorming) in my sketchbook. I felt totally stuck. Normally when I get to this point I end up taking a fifteen minute nap, as that sometimes helps get my mind back in gear. Instead I chose to go on a spontaneous jog. It definitely fell under the category of letting go physically, and it gave me a break mentally. By the time that I was halfway through with my run I could feel that my mind had switched gears from trying to work out that problem, to just existing in the moment. It felt good to have a break and just concentrate on how my body was working and feeling. It was feeling very really, as opposed to brainstorming, which feels like you don’t even need a body because everything is in your head. When I went back and cooled down, it was a lot easier to get more work done, although I didn’t have an “eureka” moments.

Monday:
Monday night when I was making dinner, I was thinking about the article and how they talked about changing recipes as a sort of exercise. I’m a poor college student, so I don’t have that many ingredients or ways to change up my cooking, so instead I decided that while I was making dinner I was going to try to use my left hand as my primary hand, and switch things up that way. I definitely couldn’t just go through the motions of cooking like I normally do. I had to really concentrate, especially for when I had to drain the pasta using my left hand, because if I didn’t pay close attention, I definitely would have burnt myself. It was similar to the run in the fact that I had to switch mental gears and concentrate on something that was happening “in the now.” It also physically felt different from my normal routine. I hardly ever try to use my left hand for anything.

Tuesday:
The day was wearing on, on Tuesday and I realized I hadn’t done anything out of my routine yet that day. Since it was getting around to 9:30 and I was in that horrible “I have to come up with some outstandingly creative idea before Thursday, but I’m terribly stuck and have no way to just magically come up with an award winning idea,” frustrated mental place, I decided that maybe something I could do out of my normal routine was to actually unwind before I go to bed. Normally I stay up till at least midnight or so just doing homework and trying to work out creative problems. I never really let myself slowly come down from that to go to bed, instead I normally just stop what I’m doing and trudge to bed to pass out. I took Tuesday night to let myself get away from that mental place. I let myself play a round of Left 4 Dead, a video game, and let my mind get away from those creative problems. It worked because I had to concentrate on what was going on, on the screen, plus there was a little human reaction coming from my fellow players. It definitely helps to socialize after you’ve been stuck inside your head all day. After I finished that, I felt much more relaxed, but not quite tired yet, so I let myself have another luxury I haven’t done in what seems like forever, which is I read a few chapters of the book I started reading during the summer. By the time I was ready to go to bed, I was very relaxed, and I actually found I fell asleep a lot easier, because I wasn’t trying to consciously still work out all those creative problems.

I’m not quite sure by what you wanted for “visual documentation” of this, especially since it was supposed to be mildly spontaneous, but may I can add to this post later?

Assignment Number Uno