Intuition and Spontaneity

The way this week's prompt was phrased, as well as the readings, reminded me of how I am around people. I'm not sure if it's particular enough for this exercise, but I'll continue anyways. So, whenever I am around people, whether they are someone I know well, an acquaintance, or someone brand new, my perception is habitually placed on how they are responding to me, what they are thinking about me, etc. And of course I don't mean this in the totally self-centered outrageously confident sort of way (like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast), but rather the awkward, maybe a little self-centered, but all too self-aware, shy person sort of way (can't think of a witty example for that one).

I get so nervous around people, wondering how they're perception of me is changing as we talk, that my habitual response is actually to become more nervous and awkwardly self-aware. It would be nice to break this habitual way of responding and opening up to new spontaneous possibilities, instead of being so carefully planned out. I often laugh whenever I am reading things that tell me I should be "more aware of myself, my reactions and my emotions" because I think what would help me more is if I weren't so aware.

Also I really enjoyed reading about intuitive nature because it's always interesting to experience. Like the "Blink" article stated, we act on our intuition constantly, but we hardly ever notice. I wish there was a way to harness it more, but perhaps that comes with 'being more aware of myself,' haha. Just the other day I had the undeniable urge to go check the mail, like couldn't ignore it, had to submit to it, and I went out of my way to go check the mailbox and sure enough the letter that I had been seriously looking forward to receiving was in the mail, but I had no idea when it would arrive.